M's Birthday Post

M1 and I have been friends since 8th grade. She sat next to me in Biology and she had just moved to Arizona from Montana. We've been together ever since. There have been times we've drifted apart, but we always ended up back together again.

We've been through boyfriends and breakups, being brought home by the cops in our youth (one time, one time only), one of us puking on the other one in the backseat of a Camero (I've not assigned blame so as to protect the guilty party*), all night baking fests, and countless nights at desert parties or Golf N'Stuff at Metro Center.

We've been a part of each others' lives during the divorce of my mom, the death of her father**, our first pregnancy, and the coincidental emergency c-section births of our sons, born less than a month apart. I slept at the hospital when her daughter was born a few years later, just so she wouldn't have to get out of bed to change icky diapers.

When I lived in Phoenix, our weekends usually revolved around each other, much like in high school. One weekend at her house, one at mine. Still spending the night a lot of times, even as adults. We vacation together with our children (and we're long overdue for a trip). We've taken more trips to San Diego than I can remember. We've still got one in the works for Hawaii, if it ever happens. Maybe for 40, since we mucked up 35 with our lack of funds and lack of planning. (Sorry, planning is my job, and I failed miserably.)

M was mad at me when I up and left her in AZ. We were raising our children together, they were going to grow up knowing each other from day one. I screwed up that little plan. But she forgave me. She had to after so many years of friendship. We tried to say goodbye without crying the night before I moved, and we managed to hold back the tears until she drove away. But then she forgot something and had to come back. Twice, I think. And we ended up laughing at the ridiculousness of the whole situation through our tears.

Our friendship is still the same easy relationship we've always had, even after living 12 hours apart for the last three years. We do talk a lot less. But that has more to do with her company's personal phone call policy*** and the time zone differences than anything else.

She gets me. She gets my sense of humor. She knows everything about me, she has seen me at my worst, and she still loves me. She puts up with my crap, my craziness and my annoying habits of repeating everything I say at least seven times and of talking everything to death. Not to mention all my relentless planning and my dreams of living in RV's or tipis or yurts. And she still likes to be around me.

I can tell her anything, anytime. (It's too late to apologize.) She shares my absurd sense of humor, and she's got this laugh...oh, the laugh! How I love that laugh! We e-mail each other quotes from The Office and she turns me on (that's what she said) to all sorts of music and tv and cinema that I'd probably never watch otherwise.

We even lived together once, and though it wasn't the best, our friendship survived it. And either one of us would do it again. That says a lot right there, doesn't it?

I can't imagine a life without her. And today she is turning 36. Thirty friggin' six! We've known each other for over 22 years now. And knowing what I know now, if we went back to 8th grade biology and she asked me if the seat next to me was empty, I'd say yes, yes, a thousand times yes!

For her birthday, I have composed a special haiku. I think it sums up our relationship nicely, keeping to the 5/7/5 haiku guidelines. I hope you enjoy it.

Happy birthday friend
Connected for oh so long
That is what she said

I love you, M1. Here's to many, many more years of having you in my life!

*But let's just say I was on the receiving end. And it wasn't pleasant.

**Although I was out of town and didn't find out until a few days after he died, and I've always felt horrible for that. I'm sorry. I still think about it and wish I had been there for you.

***Bastards.