Saturday, March 7, 2009

Decapitation: The Next Step

BW's been in rare form lately with the whining and talking back and being difficult. We're trying to be patient since there's so much going on and things are all crazy around here, but eventually he pushes us too far and he gets in trouble.

Right now, because I'm stuck in a disciplinary rut, he gets grounded. Usually just for a day or two, the things he does normally aren't too serious. Yesterday he was really on a roll, and he got a week.

I announced his fate, and he broke down and started in with his normal complaints - we're mean, we ground him every second of every day of his life, we don't like him. And then he screams, "You'll probably chop off my head next!!!"


Me: "Why on earth would we chop off your head?"
BW: "Because you don't like me and I'm in trouble."
Me: "So you think we'd chop off your head?"
BW: "Probably!"

Apparently, to my seven year old, decapitation is a logical progression from grounding. I'm not sure whether or not I should be worried about this. Is this normal? He's a pretty dramatic kid, especially when he's upset. Or does my child really think we're monsters who would chop off his head because he argued with us one too many times?

I'm getting pretty frustrated with him, and so is his father. Much more so than usual. I know it's just the stress of packing up the house, the pending move, no income, etc. Our routine (which wasn't all that much to begin with) is all shot to hell, our house is a huge disaster, we're all short-tempered. I keep telling myself to just get through the week (one more week, yay!!!) and then I can focus on correcting this habit we've gotten into of being impatient and sniping at each other all the time.

But, in the meantime, I've got a seven year old who thinks we don't like him and we're sharpening our axes out back for when he steps too far out of line. Maybe next I could convince him that Captain Subtext will sneak into his room at night and use a tiny guillotine to chop off segments of his penis each time he lies.* Better or worse?


*Anyone watch Coupling? "Go ahead, tell another lie Jeffrey! I've always wanted a daughter." Maybe we could work out a whole plan for raising him based on episodes of Coupling. When he's older, MM could warn him of the Melty Man - the arch enemy of trouser confidence.**

**Just to be absolutely clear, the Melty Man is from another Coupling episode...not MM's personal experience. He'd be appalled if that were misconstrued.


Zayna said...

I think you're on the right track with he's only seven and you're all under a lot of stress.

Too often we expect our kids to handle the stress of life better than we do.

Be a little easier on yourselves and him.


Lisa said...

You're so right.

Thank you, Zayna!