Thursday, October 2, 2008

Oops, she did it again...

My lovely sil has shown her crazy once again. Her paranoia and instability is shining through, and it's as blinding as driving into the rising sun behind a bug splattered windshield.

I had great hopes for her; I thought she was getting the help she so desperately needed. Unfortunately, it appears as if she's just working the system she's in without making any real progress. She's spouting off what she thinks everyone wants to hear and switching alliances so fast I feel like I'm in some bad realty show (Survivor: Texas Prison System). And if that isn't bad enough, I just got voted off the island (cell block?).

The result of all this is that Bubby is no longer living with us. He is now in upstate New York, over 2,000 miles away. Boy Wonder and I just got back from getting him settled in with his grandfather and half-brothers - people Bubby has never met before. The whole thing was heartbreaking, but unavoidable. We knew when we took Bubby in that it was going to be temporary. I guess I just hoped it wouldn't end like this. In all likelihood, we will not see him again.

I know that we gave him a wonderful life while we had him, and I know his grandfather will take good care of him. My sil's father has assured me that he will be the first person to protect Bubby from her if (when) that becomes necessary. He has assured me that he will throw her under the bus, if (when) it comes to that. It's good to know that he will put Bubby's needs ahead of those of his own daughter, if (when) it comes to that.

On the positive side, my life just got a whole lot simpler. Taking care of a crawling infant who still doesn't always sleep through the night is (no matter how sweet and happy he is) a lot of work. The logisitics of caring for a baby and all his needs, keeping him well-fed, happy, and most parents out there know, it's pretty consuming. Packing and moving with an infant isn't easy, and I no longer have to worry about that. Dealing with my still loony sil is a thing of the past, and that's a wonderful thing. No matter how well she's doing, there's always some drama with her, and now it's no longer my problem.

On the negative side...well, he's gone. And we love him. And we miss him. The house is a little emptier. I feel like I'm forgetting to do something, like my days are too easy. My first thought the last few mornings was, "Wow, he slept through the night!!" and then I realized he wasn't there.

So it's been a rough couple of weeks, going through all this. But we'll get through it and we'll all be alright. I know we did the best we could with what (and who) we had to work with. Ultimately, I have to accept that his leaving was completely out of my hands, and just let it all go. Bubby made our lives happier while he was with us. All we can do now is hope he'll be safe and happy, and that my sil's brand of crazy is drug induced rather than genetic.

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