Monday, August 11, 2008

On the road again...

Friday morning I'm taking bubby to see his mom. We have this weird situation here, I'll try to sum it up. My now ex sister-in-law got in some legal trouble while passing through our area, and is currently, um, let's just say she's a resident of the state, if you know what I mean. This has been a long time coming, she has had a past filled with all sorts of issues I won't get into here. I really think that she is getting the help she needs, and I believe she wants to have a better, more stable life. Of course, everyone says that while in custody, so who knows.

Anyhoo and anyway (as my grandma used to say), she and my husband's brother had separated again, she was pregnant (not with my bil), and she was looking at being gone anywhere from two to five years. We realized she had been moved to our area (she had been in a different state), and I remembered she was pregnant. We'd heard some rumors, but we hadn't had any contact for quite a while. I felt bad for her. She was alone, she had a very uncertain future, she'd totally screwed her life up, and her family would barely talk to her. Everyone had completely lost faith in her. Her baby was going to end up in foster care.

So, I went to go see her. I tossed a 'we should take the baby' over my shoulder to motorman on the way out, and he shrugged at me. (I have a habit of taking people in, he just rolls with it at this point.) That's exactly what ended up happening. We ended up picking up bubby from the hospital when he was two days old. She ended up getting rehabilitation instead of prison time, so we will end up caring for bubby for about a year when it's all said and done.

It's hard. My brother-in-law is used to me doing this sort of thing (hell, we've helped him out several times, he gets it), but it was still weird for him. He's been as great as I can expect him to be about it, given the situation. Our family and friends have been very supportive about it, though most think we're - ok, I'm - a little crazy for doing it. Everyone understands why I couldn't let an innocent child go to foster care when I had the ability to prevent it. And he's been great - he's a great baby. Very happy and easy to take care of. He's a doll.

Now his mom is about six hours away. At first, she was only 30 minutes away, and I could see her at least once a week. The problem there was it was through a little glass window, no touching. Now she's further away, but actually gets to hold bubby. Of course, now that she can, we can't go see her as often. About every other month is what it's shaping up to be. It's awful. She's gotten herself into this mess, but it sucks for bubby. Luckily she'll be back here soon and will have about three months of adjustment time before she's on her own, and she'll get to bond with him more then. And with luck, she'll be on the road to improvement, and bubby will never remember being with us. He'll be back with her just before her turns one. Which both breaks my heart and is my greatest hope for him.

So, this weekend bubby will get to spend four hours with his mom. Not a fun trip, but one that I want to make. I wish I could make it more often, for him. It's been strange having a baby around again. Especially a baby we didn't really know existed until a month before we had him. But it has been wonderful. We love having him with us, and wouldn't have done things any differently. I'm just a little scared of how the future will play out. I hope bubby and his mama have a great life, and I hope us taking him in and being there for her when few others were made a difference.

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