On our trip home from AZ, MM and I talked about things we could work on to improve our marriage. One of MM's complaints was that he can't actually see what we do all day - he has this idea that I loaf around all day reading books while BW plays video games. Heh! A lot of it is rooted in the fact that he's a 'gotta see it to believe it' guy, and when he comes home to a somewhat messy house, he wonders. It also doesn't help that I'm pretty vague about the things we accomplish. I'm more of an 'oh, this and that' responder, which doesn't help the situation.
This irritates MM to no end. He wants to see things getting done He wants specifics. He's working hard all day, and it really bothers him to think we're at home sleeping late and goofing off all day long. It makes him jealous - he wants to stay home and sleep late and goof off, too, by golly. I understand where he's coming from and if our situations were reversed, I'd be unhappy. Probably more than unhappy. OK, I'll admit it, I'd be a raving maniac if I came home to a messy house and vague assurances that 'something' was done on the home schooling front.
In an effort to make MM a little more satisfied with being sole breadwinner, I wrote out a block schedule for BW and I to follow during the week. I scheduled in meal prep, home schooling, cleaning, group activity time and study time for myself once school starts again. We committed to following it for the next several weeks to see how it works out, and last week was week number one.
I am pleased to announce it worked out rather well. I have a problem with procrastinating and putting things off, and then becoming overwhelmed by the sheer amount of things that need to be accomplished. My laundry is forever piling up, clean but unfolded, on the couch. My dishes do the same (minus the clean and unfolded bit) in the kitchen sink. The clutter multiplies while I sleep, and I still haven't worked out a good system for filing my paperwork and bills. Last week, I vowed to change things.
The house was already relatively clean, and I managed to unpack and get everything put away from our trip the day after we got home. This is some sort of record for me, just so you know. I've been known to find things still packed when I pull out my suitcase for the next trip, months later. With BW's help, the kitchen was thoroughly cleaned, trash cans were emptied, bedrooms were cleaned, and toys were put away. We logged in two or three hours a day of 'school' stuff - reading, math, science, and Bravewriter activities. BW has been really into card games lately, so we borrowed a book of rules and began learning a few games. BW has even learned the rules to Gin Rummy, one of my personal favorites. I even made some phone calls and think I have pinned down what we might end up doing for Christmas (I'll post more on that when we decide for sure).
All in all, it was a successful week. I even managed to jot notes in my day planner so I can look back and see exactly what we did each day. I feel like we got a lot done, and it was done happily for the most part. There is something to being more organized, and as much as I kick and scream about doing it, I really like having a loose schedule to follow. Not that we'll follow it every day, but it gives us something to work towards. It will definitely help me keep on top of things once the semester starts again and I have all that to deal with too. Of course, I remember being all organized about this time last year, and that didn't stick, so maybe I'm being a little overly optimistic....
At any rate, here's hoping December proves to be a month filled with folded laundry, empty sinks, filed paperwork, picked up toys, and an abundance of educational joy. That will be MM's real Christmas gift! And as for me, well, there's always that island....
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Propositions
I wrote this a few days ago but hadn't posted it. After watching Proposition 8 - The Musical, I thought it was a nice tie in....
My husband was recently propositioned at a New Mexico convenience store. He went in for a drink and some cigarettes and got a little more than he bargained for. Apparently, while waiting in line to pay, an older woman (think 50-ish crack whore) walked up behind him and told him she needed twenty dollars. He just kind of looked at her oddly, so she sweetens the deal by offering a menu of sexual options in exchange for said money. To which my flustered husband responds, "Um...I only have two bucks and I have to get home." He then called me and related the story, adding that he was just thankful she didn't offer to lower her price or something.
Yes, when my husband is approached by hookers, he uses his lack of cash as an excuse to decline their services. Rather than, say, "Hell no!!" or "I'm married and would never betray the love of my life!!" or something along else those lines. Of course, it's not like hookers are tripping over themselves to get to him. He's just not had enough practice, I guess. Maybe we should role play so he knows what to do in the future?
Edited to add: When MM called to tell me what happened, I was with M2 and all the kids. I was texting the story to her so the kids wouldn't hear it, and the t9 function on my cell phone could only give me 'puppy' instead of the word I was really looking for. I think that made me laugh more than anything, I kept picturing MM being offered a blow job or a puppy....
To wrap up the subject of propositions, I think a video is appropriate....
My husband was recently propositioned at a New Mexico convenience store. He went in for a drink and some cigarettes and got a little more than he bargained for. Apparently, while waiting in line to pay, an older woman (think 50-ish crack whore) walked up behind him and told him she needed twenty dollars. He just kind of looked at her oddly, so she sweetens the deal by offering a menu of sexual options in exchange for said money. To which my flustered husband responds, "Um...I only have two bucks and I have to get home." He then called me and related the story, adding that he was just thankful she didn't offer to lower her price or something.
Yes, when my husband is approached by hookers, he uses his lack of cash as an excuse to decline their services. Rather than, say, "Hell no!!" or "I'm married and would never betray the love of my life!!" or something along else those lines. Of course, it's not like hookers are tripping over themselves to get to him. He's just not had enough practice, I guess. Maybe we should role play so he knows what to do in the future?
Edited to add: When MM called to tell me what happened, I was with M2 and all the kids. I was texting the story to her so the kids wouldn't hear it, and the t9 function on my cell phone could only give me 'puppy' instead of the word I was really looking for. I think that made me laugh more than anything, I kept picturing MM being offered a blow job or a puppy....
To wrap up the subject of propositions, I think a video is appropriate....
Friday, November 28, 2008
That's what she said
(At the grocery store.)
"Which cranberry sauce should I buy?""I don't know, which kind do you like?"
"I'm not sure, but there's jellied and -""Hey! Look at this box of -"
"Will you shut up and look at these?!""That's what she said!"
(Snorting, hysterical laughter.)And like this:
(In the Olive Garden bathroom.)
"Wow. This bathroom really stinks."
"Yeah, but it doesn't stink like poo. More like sewer or something.""Well there is a giant hole right here...."
"That's what she said!!"(Snorting, hysterical laughter.)
Or sometimes like this:
"Stop making me laugh!!"
"That's what she said!""Oh my god!!! Stop!! I can't breathe! It hurts inside"
"That's what she said!!!!!"As you can see, we're easily amused. Most of our days together are filled with laughing so hard it's painful. For some reason, we just set each other off. I know it's not really funny out of context but man oh man do we laugh. There was an entire trip where we laughed so hard we cried because we ate something funky and had really bad gas. Instead of saying 'excuse me' and blushing a little like ladies, one of us (ok, me) just started singing 'it's too late to apologize' under our breath. Yes, I apparently have the sense of humor of an adolescent boy.
Which is probably why I found the Goth Name Generator so damn funny. Thank you Zenmomma's Garden for posting this little gem. I put in my name and came got back Transylvania Tranny. Something about my real, actual name screams eastern European transsexual. Who knew? None of the other name generators were even mildly amusing, although one of them seemed to be a creepy porn advertisement link. I clicked on it to see what my Tourette's name would be (totally unpublishable, by the way) and immediately had to avert my virgin eyes. Apparently the people in charge of advertising links equated Tourette's with naked women. I hate it when that kind of stuff happens.
Which is probably why I found the Goth Name Generator so damn funny. Thank you Zenmomma's Garden for posting this little gem. I put in my name and came got back Transylvania Tranny. Something about my real, actual name screams eastern European transsexual. Who knew? None of the other name generators were even mildly amusing, although one of them seemed to be a creepy porn advertisement link. I clicked on it to see what my Tourette's name would be (totally unpublishable, by the way) and immediately had to avert my virgin eyes. Apparently the people in charge of advertising links equated Tourette's with naked women. I hate it when that kind of stuff happens.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Thanksgiving
We drove to AZ yesterday. It was a long day - we had to get up early so MM could go to work for a half day, and then drive for nearly twelve hours to get where we needed to be. Twelve longgg hours. And I realized something on this trip. My husband and son are taking my joy of road tripping and strangling the ever loving crap out of it. Picture my joy lying dead on the side of the road, somewhere near Globe, like roadkill. My family has smooshed my joy.
I also realized yesterday it wasn't just my family conspiring to kill my joy. It was the whole freaking universe. While my husband and son practiced for both tandem and solo Olympic freestyle whining, we figured out there isn't a single Starbucks between El Paso and Tucson. Not. A. Single. One. Which would have been fine if we hadn't of passed up a brazillion of them in El Paso, not stopping because we were in the middle of holiday rush hour. And then, when it was my turn to choose music on my Zune, the batteries died. And the charger wouldn't work. And then my CD player quit working about 60 miles from the nearest radio signal.
How on earth did I get saddled with a husband and son who hate car trips? What is this punishment for, exactly? I've decided that my only option is to never get in the car with them again. Which means I'll be staying in AZ until I can figure out a way home. I'm not really sure what else can be done. I'll have to stay here at my mother's, which brings a whole other basket of troubles. Like the fact that she decided to make bacon this morning for breakfast. I love bacon. Looooovvve it. Unfortunately, I'm trying to go vegan for health reasons. Thanks, mom. ;O)
I also realized yesterday it wasn't just my family conspiring to kill my joy. It was the whole freaking universe. While my husband and son practiced for both tandem and solo Olympic freestyle whining, we figured out there isn't a single Starbucks between El Paso and Tucson. Not. A. Single. One. Which would have been fine if we hadn't of passed up a brazillion of them in El Paso, not stopping because we were in the middle of holiday rush hour. And then, when it was my turn to choose music on my Zune, the batteries died. And the charger wouldn't work. And then my CD player quit working about 60 miles from the nearest radio signal.
How on earth did I get saddled with a husband and son who hate car trips? What is this punishment for, exactly? I've decided that my only option is to never get in the car with them again. Which means I'll be staying in AZ until I can figure out a way home. I'm not really sure what else can be done. I'll have to stay here at my mother's, which brings a whole other basket of troubles. Like the fact that she decided to make bacon this morning for breakfast. I love bacon. Looooovvve it. Unfortunately, I'm trying to go vegan for health reasons. Thanks, mom. ;O)
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Giving Away Our Christmas
Last year I spent Christmas afternoon venting to my mother about what a spoiled brat my son was being that day. I have no memory of what he did to set me off, but I remember being really pissed. I also distinctly remember swearing to the heavens that next Christmas would not be the same. I wanted to start volunteering our time, talking more to BW about giving to others, about how lucky we are to be healthy and housed and fed and safe and secure. I was thinking today that I failed to do this, but then I realized I was wrong.
BW and I have talked a lot about how lucky our family is and how thankful we should be for the things we have. We volunteered our home, love, and time to take in my newborn nephew for the first seven months of his life while his mom served jail and prison rehab time, which ended in tears thanks to my crazy bitch of an ex-sister-in-law. (I'm not bitter. I'm not bitter. I'm not bitter.)
So today when my friend mentioned that another family they know was "giving away" their Christmas to a family that needed it more, I thought it sounded like a very cool idea. I wasn't sure BW would go for it, and we had already scoured the toy catalogs and talked about gifts this year. I figured he'd be really upset, and I wasn't sure I was prepared to do that to him after getting him all hyped about the holiday.
I was pleasantly surprised. We talked about how we have so much already and about how we tend to buy gifts for each other and toys year round just because. We talked about what Christmas is really supposed to be about and how there are so many others out there who are in need. And BW said he thought it was a great idea. He said it would be hard for him to not get any presents since he was already so excited about it, but he wanted to give our Christmas away, too. We decided we would all sit down as a family and decide exactly what we wanted to do, and then make sure to do it all together.
MM is on board with it so we'll be doing some thinking over t-day weekend. We're going to AZ for the holiday, so we'll have a nice, lonnnggg car ride to discuss it. But this year I'm really looking forward to Christmas. I'm excited about starting a new tradition. I'm excited to spend December thinking about others, instead of just our immediate family and friends. We've been bad about this in the past. I'm looking forward to a whole different holiday experience.
I think it'll probably be rough on BW when all his friends get gifts and he doesn't, but I think he really wants to do this and he'll get through the difficult bits. And let's face it, Christmas has become a holiday celebrating consumerism, it'll be good for us to take some time off once a year.
BW and I have talked a lot about how lucky our family is and how thankful we should be for the things we have. We volunteered our home, love, and time to take in my newborn nephew for the first seven months of his life while his mom served jail and prison rehab time, which ended in tears thanks to my crazy bitch of an ex-sister-in-law. (I'm not bitter. I'm not bitter. I'm not bitter.)
So today when my friend mentioned that another family they know was "giving away" their Christmas to a family that needed it more, I thought it sounded like a very cool idea. I wasn't sure BW would go for it, and we had already scoured the toy catalogs and talked about gifts this year. I figured he'd be really upset, and I wasn't sure I was prepared to do that to him after getting him all hyped about the holiday.
I was pleasantly surprised. We talked about how we have so much already and about how we tend to buy gifts for each other and toys year round just because. We talked about what Christmas is really supposed to be about and how there are so many others out there who are in need. And BW said he thought it was a great idea. He said it would be hard for him to not get any presents since he was already so excited about it, but he wanted to give our Christmas away, too. We decided we would all sit down as a family and decide exactly what we wanted to do, and then make sure to do it all together.
MM is on board with it so we'll be doing some thinking over t-day weekend. We're going to AZ for the holiday, so we'll have a nice, lonnnggg car ride to discuss it. But this year I'm really looking forward to Christmas. I'm excited about starting a new tradition. I'm excited to spend December thinking about others, instead of just our immediate family and friends. We've been bad about this in the past. I'm looking forward to a whole different holiday experience.
I think it'll probably be rough on BW when all his friends get gifts and he doesn't, but I think he really wants to do this and he'll get through the difficult bits. And let's face it, Christmas has become a holiday celebrating consumerism, it'll be good for us to take some time off once a year.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Boys
So I'm totally going to steal a daughter from one of my friends. I have three possible choices in mind. Two of the girls, L and D, are under five and pretty darned feisty. I'm not sure I'm up for that. I can barely handle the child I have on some days, and stealing a second one with that kind of fire might be more than I can handle. Especially since there's the whole running from the law, obtaining new identities, and convincing my new daughter that everything is on the up and up and no, really, your parents know you're with me and are totally OK with it stuff. I'm pretty lazy and I'm guessing all that could cut into my me time. And man, would my laundry pile up while on the run. But anyway. My third option, M, is nine and a half, and my oh my, do I love her. Not to say I don't love the the other two just as much, but my oldest (heh) and I just click. She's sweet and thoughtful and easy to get along with. She's older, so she's a little less work than the younger girls. She could probably fold her own laundry....
I'm guessing not a one of the three would be easily convinced that I'm their new mommy. And probably posting all my nefarious plans on a blog isn't the best move when you're planning on stealing your friends' children. Especially since they read said blog....Hmmm....I guess I need to rethink this whole thing. But back to my wanting a daughter....Since there's only BW, and he's, well, a boy, I don't get to do girly things like dolls and dresses and makeup. I feel left out. I have always wanted a daughter...we had a name picked out and everything. Since there are no more children in our future, I've got designs on my friends' children instead. A completely rational decision, I assure you.
I'm kidding about all of this, of course. Child snatching really isn't my thing, so I've come up with an alternative solution. BW is just going to have to marry one of these three girls. Any one will do, I'll let him pick. See? I'm not a monster. The thing is, I have these horrible thoughts about BW marrying someone we don't really like. Yes, I do spend my time thinking about these sorts of thing. Which may be why I don't have the time or energy to steal children. Or fold laundry. I realize that BW is only seven, but still, it pays to be proactive. Some people may think that it's obsessive and weird, but I prefer to think of myself as a planner. Hope for the best, plan for the worst, that's my motto. That and never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line. Sorry. I just watched The Princess Bride with one of my future daughter-in-laws.
But back to the topic at hand. I think about what I would do if BW married someone we really couldn't stand. I'm lucky in that I get along pretty well with my mil. We're not super close, but there really aren't any problems so I have no experience in this area at all. What would it be like if BW married some horrible bitch? I mean, how would that work, exactly? How would my relationship with BW be? How can you have a good relationship with your child if you don't like their significant other? Is it possible? It really worries me sometimes. So in order to keep myself out of jail and to maintain a fantastic relationship with my son, I'll just pick a few girls out now. When he's seven. Nothing wrong with having an arranged marriage. I can see the value in choosing your child's spouse. It makes things easier down the road. It's not weird, it's just being prepared. Now if I can just convince everyone else of this....
I'm guessing not a one of the three would be easily convinced that I'm their new mommy. And probably posting all my nefarious plans on a blog isn't the best move when you're planning on stealing your friends' children. Especially since they read said blog....Hmmm....I guess I need to rethink this whole thing. But back to my wanting a daughter....Since there's only BW, and he's, well, a boy, I don't get to do girly things like dolls and dresses and makeup. I feel left out. I have always wanted a daughter...we had a name picked out and everything. Since there are no more children in our future, I've got designs on my friends' children instead. A completely rational decision, I assure you.
I'm kidding about all of this, of course. Child snatching really isn't my thing, so I've come up with an alternative solution. BW is just going to have to marry one of these three girls. Any one will do, I'll let him pick. See? I'm not a monster. The thing is, I have these horrible thoughts about BW marrying someone we don't really like. Yes, I do spend my time thinking about these sorts of thing. Which may be why I don't have the time or energy to steal children. Or fold laundry. I realize that BW is only seven, but still, it pays to be proactive. Some people may think that it's obsessive and weird, but I prefer to think of myself as a planner. Hope for the best, plan for the worst, that's my motto. That and never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line. Sorry. I just watched The Princess Bride with one of my future daughter-in-laws.
But back to the topic at hand. I think about what I would do if BW married someone we really couldn't stand. I'm lucky in that I get along pretty well with my mil. We're not super close, but there really aren't any problems so I have no experience in this area at all. What would it be like if BW married some horrible bitch? I mean, how would that work, exactly? How would my relationship with BW be? How can you have a good relationship with your child if you don't like their significant other? Is it possible? It really worries me sometimes. So in order to keep myself out of jail and to maintain a fantastic relationship with my son, I'll just pick a few girls out now. When he's seven. Nothing wrong with having an arranged marriage. I can see the value in choosing your child's spouse. It makes things easier down the road. It's not weird, it's just being prepared. Now if I can just convince everyone else of this....
Monday, November 17, 2008
My Weekend Away
I got back yesterday evening after attending a weekend Bravewriter conference in Wichita Falls, TX. Three of us went - one lady I'd never met, and M2. It was a great weekend! No kids, no stress, good coffee and good conversation, book stores and pleasant meals out, and the conference, of course. I really enjoyed the time away, and the conference was a good experience. I came away from it freshly inspired to teach BW to write not only competently, but (hopefully) painlessly.
I also learned how to say midwifery, which brought me gads of pleasure. I had always assumed it was pronounced like midwife with an 'er-y' on the end. Turns out I was wrong. It's pronounced like whiff. Go ahead, say it out loud. Midwifery. Fun, isn't it? I won't even tell you how many times I repeated it under my breath throughout the weekend, you'd probably think me crazy.
There's really not much more going on in my life right now...I've registered for school and only changed my mind on what classes to take once. Sadly, that's probably some sort of record for me. I've been known to change classes up until the first day. Of course, there's still time for that. If you haven't guessed it yet, I have a commitment problem - I still haven't figured out what I want to be when I grow up, so I tend to waffle a lot when it comes to picking classes. But as of today I am all registered, and I'm just not going to think about any of it until January, when it's time to buy my books. I'm going to spend the next two months focusing on BW, MM, the upcoming birthdays and holidays, and our tenth anniversary. That's really quite enough, thank you very much.
So I'm off to research tenth anniversary gifts. I've already warned my husband that I'm expecting something good this year, and that he'd better devote some time to figuring out a decent gift for a change. A gift worthy of the ten years we've been married. My husband is of the 'wait until the last minute and then buy her a pillow at 11 pm on Mother's Day' persuasion. I'm mean seriously...a pillow? He said he couldn't think of anything else.
I personally love gift shopping. I love trying to find the right thing for someone. And I know that it's all supposed to be about making someone else happy, giving from the heart, totally selfless, blah blah blah. But I will admit there is a little part of me who feels like if I make this big effort to find a great gift, it would be really nice if the people in my life would reciprocate the effort. Doesn't have to be an expensive gift, just thoughtful. See, I'm not asking much, right? You'd think I'd asked for my own island. Which would not be a bad gift, come to think of it. Expensive, but I promise you it would be deeply appreciated...providing it's a tropical island. I don't like the cold. And it doesn't have to be big or anything. A couple of square miles is fine, really. You know, big enough for a house, a small staff, some nice beaches. A guest house or two for visitors. In case anyone's wondering.
But anyway, MM is on notice that this year it's important to me, we've discussed spending limits to keep things under control, and I've outlined my expectations to him. He has no excuses this time. I have faith he'll figure something out this year. Wish me luck.
I also learned how to say midwifery, which brought me gads of pleasure. I had always assumed it was pronounced like midwife with an 'er-y' on the end. Turns out I was wrong. It's pronounced like whiff. Go ahead, say it out loud. Midwifery. Fun, isn't it? I won't even tell you how many times I repeated it under my breath throughout the weekend, you'd probably think me crazy.
There's really not much more going on in my life right now...I've registered for school and only changed my mind on what classes to take once. Sadly, that's probably some sort of record for me. I've been known to change classes up until the first day. Of course, there's still time for that. If you haven't guessed it yet, I have a commitment problem - I still haven't figured out what I want to be when I grow up, so I tend to waffle a lot when it comes to picking classes. But as of today I am all registered, and I'm just not going to think about any of it until January, when it's time to buy my books. I'm going to spend the next two months focusing on BW, MM, the upcoming birthdays and holidays, and our tenth anniversary. That's really quite enough, thank you very much.
So I'm off to research tenth anniversary gifts. I've already warned my husband that I'm expecting something good this year, and that he'd better devote some time to figuring out a decent gift for a change. A gift worthy of the ten years we've been married. My husband is of the 'wait until the last minute and then buy her a pillow at 11 pm on Mother's Day' persuasion. I'm mean seriously...a pillow? He said he couldn't think of anything else.
I personally love gift shopping. I love trying to find the right thing for someone. And I know that it's all supposed to be about making someone else happy, giving from the heart, totally selfless, blah blah blah. But I will admit there is a little part of me who feels like if I make this big effort to find a great gift, it would be really nice if the people in my life would reciprocate the effort. Doesn't have to be an expensive gift, just thoughtful. See, I'm not asking much, right? You'd think I'd asked for my own island. Which would not be a bad gift, come to think of it. Expensive, but I promise you it would be deeply appreciated...providing it's a tropical island. I don't like the cold. And it doesn't have to be big or anything. A couple of square miles is fine, really. You know, big enough for a house, a small staff, some nice beaches. A guest house or two for visitors. In case anyone's wondering.
But anyway, MM is on notice that this year it's important to me, we've discussed spending limits to keep things under control, and I've outlined my expectations to him. He has no excuses this time. I have faith he'll figure something out this year. Wish me luck.
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