Thursday, September 11, 2008

Hunkered like a meth-crazed badger

I had a disappointing Carl Hiaasen experience the other day. I saw he had a new book out called The Downhill Lie and I scooped it out without really looking at it. It's Carl Hiassen; there's never been a need to know what the book was about, the man is flippin' hilarious. As it turned out, the book was not fiction. It is not only non-fiction, but it is about golf. Now, the golf part I was expecting - the tee on the cover did give that much away. But I was expecting a wildly amusing tale taking place somewhere in Florida, loosely based on the game of golf. I was not expecting a book about returning to the game after a 30+ year hiatus.

I decided to give it a go anyway, and I was rewarded with the following quote: "Richard Nixon was hunkered like a meth-crazed badger in the White House, Hank Aaron was one dinger shy of Babe Ruth’s all-time home run record, and The Who had just released Quadrophenia.” Believe you me, I will be working 'hunkered like a meth-crazed badger' into conversation as often as I can from here on out. I'm not sure about anybody else, but the visual I got from that made my whole day.

I love odd wording, surprising phrasing, funny quotes. I love reading authors that make me giggle and I want to read to be entertained. I want an engrossing story, I want to be drawn in - I want to be completely invested in the characters and what happens next. I don't want to study what I'm reading, I don't want to analyze it. I want to have a good time. I know that's shallow and very unintellectual of me, but it's probably why I also enjoy such a variety of writing. It's probably also why I can't remember the plot of a book I read last week, and why I tend to re-read the same books not realizing until half-way through that I've already read them.

But anyway, my point is this: I've been thinking about changing my major to English. I was originally going for something in the medical field and was almost done with my pre-reqs when we realized we were going to be moving. I decided it was too hard to do something like that if we were going to move around more, so I thought I'd change to something I could finish online. It also solves my homeschooling problems - it's hard to homeschool when you yourself are going to school full-time. But an English degree I could do from home on a part-time basis. And English classes have always been somewhat easy for me. I enjoy writing, I love reading. Being an English major isn't completely useless, right?

My concern is that my love of reading and writing is too superficial to handle pursuing this line of education. My friend M commented that I didn't read for academic reasons, and it gave me pause. We had been discussing this subject and I freely admit to reading like some people watch tv, but I hadn't really thought of my reading in those terms before.

So again, I'm feeling anxious and directionless. I really haven't decided what I want to be when I grow up, and at 35 I feel like I should have a better idea. I thought I had it before, but the move kind of screwed things up. I know if it were really my passion it wouldn't matter and I'd find a way to do it anyway, but I'm totally ok with a change so there you go. Guess I hadn't found my passion.

At this point, I feel like I want a degree in something, just to prove to myself I can finish it. I feel like I need to pick a major and stick to it, and pick one that moving around won't mess up. I guess for now I'll remain anxious and directionless, hunkered like a meth-crazed badger, until I figure it out. (Ha!)

If anybody has any suggestions, by all means speak up.

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