Saturday, July 10, 2010

Going Raw ... Again

I know I've blogged about this before, and I so wish this could be the last time, but, I know it won't. I am a food addict. I truly believe that I have an emotional and physical addiction to eating in a way that is damaging to my mental and physical health. I'm not sure how to cure it. I'm not sure where that magic switch is that I can flip to change my eating habits for good.

Until I can find it, I'll be on the eternal quest to take better care of my body, to figure out a way to eat that I can both stick to and love. I keep coming back to raw, or mostly raw as a solution. I believe that it's the kind of change I'm looking for. It's fairly simple, it's better for both my body and the environment (I've been eating such unhealthy foods, and foods produced in such unhealthy ways), and if I can get over the cravings and keep on top of the shopping for fresh produce, it should be easy to implement and live with.

It sounds good in theory, anyway. In practice, I've tried this three or four times and I've never been able to stick with it for more than a month. And the month long trial only happened once. So, yeah, here I go again.

I have been going to the gym at least a few days a week for the last couple of months. I've been doing better with my eating, but not well enough. Again, always a struggle, always a challenge. The exercise has helped, though. I've found a few muscles I didn't know existed (well, hello there! so nice to have finally met you!!), and while my knee has been hurting in different ways, the grinding while going up the stairs thing has all but quit - I can feel muscles in my legs actually working as I go up, which relieves a lot of the stress on my knee. So, success on that end. Yay, me!

As for eating, I seem to have no will power. And I don't know how to fix that. I always promise myself to do better tomorrow, to start eating healthier next week, to just get through this weekend and then I'll eat nothing but cabbage to make up for it. It's much like my misspent youth. Lots of promises to straighten my shit up, but no real change for years. Until I was just ready to change. And I did. I found that magic switch to flip.

I'm not sure I'll ever do that with eating.

No comments: