Oops, she did it again...

My lovely sil has shown her crazy once again. Her paranoia and instability is shining through, and it's as blinding as driving into the rising sun behind a bug splattered windshield.

I had great hopes for her; I thought she was getting the help she so desperately needed. Unfortunately, it appears as if she's just working the system she's in without making any real progress. She's spouting off what she thinks everyone wants to hear and switching alliances so fast I feel like I'm in some bad realty show (Survivor: Texas Prison System). And if that isn't bad enough, I just got voted off the island (cell block?).

The result of all this is that Bubby is no longer living with us. He is now in upstate New York, over 2,000 miles away. Boy Wonder and I just got back from getting him settled in with his grandfather and half-brothers - people Bubby has never met before. The whole thing was heartbreaking, but unavoidable. We knew when we took Bubby in that it was going to be temporary. I guess I just hoped it wouldn't end like this. In all likelihood, we will not see him again.

I know that we gave him a wonderful life while we had him, and I know his grandfather will take good care of him. My sil's father has assured me that he will be the first person to protect Bubby from her if (when) that becomes necessary. He has assured me that he will throw her under the bus, if (when) it comes to that. It's good to know that he will put Bubby's needs ahead of those of his own daughter, if (when) it comes to that.

On the positive side, my life just got a whole lot simpler. Taking care of a crawling infant who still doesn't always sleep through the night is (no matter how sweet and happy he is) a lot of work. The logisitics of caring for a baby and all his needs, keeping him well-fed, happy, and healthy...as most parents out there know, it's pretty consuming. Packing and moving with an infant isn't easy, and I no longer have to worry about that. Dealing with my still loony sil is a thing of the past, and that's a wonderful thing. No matter how well she's doing, there's always some drama with her, and now it's no longer my problem.

On the negative side...well, he's gone. And we love him. And we miss him. The house is a little emptier. I feel like I'm forgetting to do something, like my days are too easy. My first thought the last few mornings was, "Wow, he slept through the night!!" and then I realized he wasn't there.

So it's been a rough couple of weeks, going through all this. But we'll get through it and we'll all be alright. I know we did the best we could with what (and who) we had to work with. Ultimately, I have to accept that his leaving was completely out of my hands, and just let it all go. Bubby made our lives happier while he was with us. All we can do now is hope he'll be safe and happy, and that my sil's brand of crazy is drug induced rather than genetic.

On the road again...

Friday morning I'm taking bubby to see his mom. We have this weird situation here, I'll try to sum it up. My now ex sister-in-law got in some legal trouble while passing through our area, and is currently, um, let's just say she's a resident of the state, if you know what I mean. This has been a long time coming, she has had a past filled with all sorts of issues I won't get into here. I really think that she is getting the help she needs, and I believe she wants to have a better, more stable life. Of course, everyone says that while in custody, so who knows.

Anyhoo and anyway (as my grandma used to say), she and my husband's brother had separated again, she was pregnant (not with my bil), and she was looking at being gone anywhere from two to five years. We realized she had been moved to our area (she had been in a different state), and I remembered she was pregnant. We'd heard some rumors, but we hadn't had any contact for quite a while. I felt bad for her. She was alone, she had a very uncertain future, she'd totally screwed her life up, and her family would barely talk to her. Everyone had completely lost faith in her. Her baby was going to end up in foster care.

So, I went to go see her. I tossed a 'we should take the baby' over my shoulder to motorman on the way out, and he shrugged at me. (I have a habit of taking people in, he just rolls with it at this point.) That's exactly what ended up happening. We ended up picking up bubby from the hospital when he was two days old. She ended up getting rehabilitation instead of prison time, so we will end up caring for bubby for about a year when it's all said and done.

It's hard. My brother-in-law is used to me doing this sort of thing (hell, we've helped him out several times, he gets it), but it was still weird for him. He's been as great as I can expect him to be about it, given the situation. Our family and friends have been very supportive about it, though most think we're - ok, I'm - a little crazy for doing it. Everyone understands why I couldn't let an innocent child go to foster care when I had the ability to prevent it. And he's been great - he's a great baby. Very happy and easy to take care of. He's a doll.

Now his mom is about six hours away. At first, she was only 30 minutes away, and I could see her at least once a week. The problem there was it was through a little glass window, no touching. Now she's further away, but actually gets to hold bubby. Of course, now that she can, we can't go see her as often. About every other month is what it's shaping up to be. It's awful. She's gotten herself into this mess, but it sucks for bubby. Luckily she'll be back here soon and will have about three months of adjustment time before she's on her own, and she'll get to bond with him more then. And with luck, she'll be on the road to improvement, and bubby will never remember being with us. He'll be back with her just before her turns one. Which both breaks my heart and is my greatest hope for him.

So, this weekend bubby will get to spend four hours with his mom. Not a fun trip, but one that I want to make. I wish I could make it more often, for him. It's been strange having a baby around again. Especially a baby we didn't really know existed until a month before we had him. But it has been wonderful. We love having him with us, and wouldn't have done things any differently. I'm just a little scared of how the future will play out. I hope bubby and his mama have a great life, and I hope us taking him in and being there for her when few others were made a difference.